Unrequited LoveNot
by SeaDewDrops
Summary: AU. "I love you too... Wait for me, please?" A sad love story of the great impossibilities of when a divine being falls for a mere human...  angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst -one shot ? -


**A/N: **(-_-) well... so much for saying that I won't write another fic until I finished A.P.U.f (apUf?) but *puppy dog eyes* this idea was bugging the hell out of me and the stupid plot bunny just won't DIE! AAAAHHHH! I couldn't possibly finish my next chapter for my first fic because of this! so yeah... If angsty stuffs are okay for you then proceed but if you don't... then just ignore this... I'm not forcing anyone to read it. But... will you try?

**Disclaimer: **No. As much as I dream I'll never be Hoshino-sensei so no.

**Warning: **Not beta-ed b'coz I honestly don't know how that system works, sorry... & note that this does not contain pure angst.

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><p><em><strong>Unrequited Love-Not.<strong>_

_(I'll wait for you... No matter how long it takes... I will.)_

**-o-**_**  
><strong>_

He's looking at him again. From behind the huge tree blossoming pink petals, he was once again looking at him. In fact, it's the only thing he had been doing all these years, to look.

His silver orbs fixed on a man with magnificently long dark hair inside the beautifully built glass house together with a redhead animatedly talking and swinging his arms here and there. Both were sitting comfortably on a sofa. The long haired man looked annoyed but nevertheless, he was smirking while listening to his bubbly _lover_ talk.

Allen tightened his hold to his chest. His brows furrowing but immediately smoothing back in place, his lips forming a sad smile, a look of longing in his liquid grey eyes. Yes, he knew he was born for the blue haired man and him alone. There's no changing that and he accepted that fate whole heartedly himself. From the moment he was born, he was given the task of keeping him safe at all times, guiding him to follow the right path laid for him to take, look after him night and day and to always, always pray for his soul so that Father will spare him a place to stay in paradise when the 'time' comes.

Loving his charge came along the way, growing and growing until he realized that he _fell_ a little too deep and whatever he did, he can't climb up back to the surface. Ironic his wings were practically useless.

Tilting his head a little to the side, he kept on watching the man before his eyes. How he'd grown! Once he was just a little bratty antisocial grumpy kid but now, he evolved into a tall and beautiful accomplished man, though he remained like his old self before save for the 'kid' part. Allen chuckled softly at the thought. Of course, Yuu is anything but a kid now. He's strong and smart and graceful and has learned many things already, a child the angel is inexplicably proud of. He's able to make decisions for himself thus, leading him to find the first and according to Yuu himself when he was whispering gently on the redhead's ear as he slept—eternal love of his mortal life.

Something clenched inside Allen's chest. His palms which he had subconsciously lowered during his little reverie suddenly came up to clutch his chest again. That was the very first day he truly felt like crying his heart out and he did not deny himself. It was also the very first time he refused to look at his charge because he couldn't bare it. It was all too much to take. Yes, he knew he was born _for_ Yuu and him alone, and he accepted that fate whole heartedly himself but it still crushes him, knowing that he can never have the only wish he's ever asked in his existence, knowing that the person dearest to his heart was born into this world for someone else…

Inside the glass house, while the angel was lost in thought, a certain, long haired man suddenly grunted. His boyfriend halted babbling and looked at him with wondering eyes,

"Yuu-chan, something the matter?"

"Nothing." the other man answered flatly.

The red head smiled and continued to where he left off, "So I was thinking if we could go-…."

But Kanda wasn't hearing any of it, he's sword calloused hand travelled up to his chest, clutching it lightly in vain attempt to ease the sudden hollow ache within. His head suddenly turned to look past the huge glass wall without his consent only to see the single sakura tree standing just outside the house, petals falling languidly, dancing to the soft rhythm of the spring breeze before finally falling to the ground. His face contorted into something akin to annoyance but in his mind, he kept on wondering that despite the fact that he and Lavi were now finally living together and feeling each other's company, he can't understand why he felt so… lonely… not to mention the nagging feeling like he had done something terribly wrong and against the Law of God. He tried to wave it off and focus instead to his still babbling fiery haired lover.

That night he dreamt of sitting below the shade of a sakura tree with someone, enjoying the rain of petals above them and for a moment he thought it was Lavi but looking down, he saw a stream of white silk instead of spiky red. He knew he was supposed to be confused but then, he felt very comfortable and at ease and so right, like that is what he should really see. The presence by his side was extremely familiar to him and when the creature looked up to meet his gaze, he saw the clearest, most gorgeous pair of mercurial eyes his own blue orbs had ever laid sight upon. The short man opened his lips and muttered something he couldn't really decipher before giving him a sweet and gentle smile. It looked too innocent, too heartbreakingly tender it made his own heart wrench painfully, much, much more painful than the hallow ache he usually felt every now and then and somehow, he knew that he isn't the _only one _who was feeling that way. Somehow, he knew that the person with him is suffering the same cruel sensation.

'_No.' _ he thought. '_No. That' s so wrong.'_ Right then, Kanda believed that someone this ethereally beautiful shouldn't be experiencing something so horrible. He moved, leaning closer baffling the young white haired man. He wanted to speak, to say something that'll help and ease the intangible pain but no words came out. His lips were moving but his voice isn't working.

He was confused, '_What the hell?' _

Obviously seeing Kanda's distress, the creature moved, pressing a gentle finger to his lips, distracting him. A rather affectionate smile now adorned his perfect face. In his silver pools reflect sadness and longing. Kanda's emotions now welled up. He so wanted to erase the melancholic look on the beautiful being but he soon found out that he was immobile. He willed his hands to move but instead, it was the white creature's slim hands that moved, taking off the finger to place his palm to the side of Kanda's face softly, tenderly. It felt warm. Next, the short man leaned in to brush his pink supple lips to the long haired samurai's, surprising him and before he knew it, the creature was gone. In his place were white feathers, falling slowly to the ground replacing the petals.

He woke up. Panting and catching his breath. It was still dark. Looking down, he saw Lavi curled into a large ball under the covers, still soundly asleep. Kanda got up as cautiously as he could so as to not wake the other man.

His thoughts wandered back to the dream, remembering every bit of it, the lone tree, the sad smile and the falling feathers. He felt his heart grow cold all of a sudden, a hand immediately clutching his chest tightly. He was like that for a moment before finally managing to calm down.

"Damn it." He muttered low to himself, bringing both palms up to catch his face and that's where he felt the wetness on his eyes and cheeks.

Tears

He cried.

"Tch." Was the only thing that came out of his mouth, then, standing up, he strode off to the farthest side of their room wherein the wall was entirely made of glass. He glanced down, staying there for a minute before walking back to the bed, he stopped his tracks in front of the huge sliding cabinet that he and Lavi shared and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a robe. He clothed himself before going straight to the stairs leading down to the living room. He did not pay any attention to the snoring redhead calling his name while sleeping.

Once he was in their living room, he headed straight to the glass door and opened it, stepping out and closing it before him. The night was warm but the breeze was enough to make Kanda clutch his robe to his sides a little bit tighter. He made his way leisurely to the big sakura tree halting when he was just a few feet away. He looked up at the blooming flowers, some petals falling off in sync with the wind's gentle blow. Heaving a heavy breath out, he walked to the very trunk of the tree and seated himself in an Indian sitting position on the grass covered ground, leaning his back comfortably to the dark wood. Relaxing, he looked up once again before closing his eyes.

The memory of when he made the decision of being with Lavi coming back to him.

He remembered how happy the other man was and how irritated he himself was that day, feeling a little bit uneasy but he ignored it.

That very night, they merged into one, succumbing to the heat and lust and extreme flow of different emotions until he felt he was sated. Until he _thought _that he was satisfied.

That was the first time he felt the hallow ache, but he paid it no mind.

Feeling yet, unrelieved, they decided to repeat their body's rendezvous again, and again, and again… every day, every night, every time they have the chance to be in complete privacy, they did the sinfully addicting act until they both finally broke into exhaustion.

And again, and again, and again, every day, every night, every freaking moment before, during and after their passion play, the nagging, unpleasant feeling was there, taking hold of his heart wrapping itself tighter on his very soul but he _tried harder _to wave it all off.

And then, the time came wherein both of them finally decided to live together. Lavi suggested that they buy a new flat so that they can start anew but Kanda opposed the idea, saying that it'll be just a waste of money and that his place was more than enough for the two of them. The redhead just shrugged his shoulders and agreed. He really did not mind it at all because as long as their together, it's alright.

But Kanda never told Lavi that the only true reason was that he couldn't bring himself to abandon the very house he was born in. Too many precious memories were in that house and he practically felt very safe and warm in it.

On one instant, he found Lavi sleeping by the couch. His whole body stretched out and drool falling down from his wide open mouth. He remembered being disgusted and irked by the sight but nevertheless, got a blanket and draped it over the other man's form. After contemplating, he bent down low enough and lifted the red haired's head slightly, enough for Kanda to ease in and sit so that he was now resting Lavi's head on his lap. His mind trailed off to a dream he had when he was younger. It was blurred and incomplete but he still remembered how the little boy stroked his still shoulder length blue hair and whispered soundless words. The little child smiled at him afterwards. Subconsciously, his hand came to stroke Lavi's red hair, a goofy smile on his sleeping face. The corners of Kanda's lips turned slightly upwards. He carefully leaned down and whispered words to the other's ear about how… glad he was with his company and that—vowing from his childhood that if he ever have a relationship with another being, It will be the first and the last.—he, Lavi will be the only person he'll ever be together with in his lifetime.

After the words escaped his lips, the nasty feeling suddenly shot up full force and he immediately straightened causing the red head to stir awake. Seeing his Yuu-chan cradling his head, he quickly beamed and hugged the man tightly on the waist, propping himself up to kiss Kanda's slightly gaping mouth. After a moment, Lavi pulled off to see a look of surprise on his lover's face that made him laugh his ass off.

But Kanda did not laugh. Hell he did not even notice Lavi just kissed him. The pain in his chest grew and grew to an unbearable level he just stood up and left for the bathroom while Lavi was still clutching his stomach, giggling like an idiot. Once inside, Kanda locked the door and turned the shower knob on, not caring how cold the water was at the moment. Then, he collapsed on his knees and leaned to the bathtub before silent tears rolled down his cheeks. He was slightly annoyed to the fact that he was crying but crying without reason? What was happening to him? His chest felt really heavy and the thought that he had done something very, _very _wrong was swirling in his confused mind.

But again, like always, he did his very best to ignore the uncalled for feeling.

He was in so deep a trance he failed to realize he had already succumbed to the call of slumber. The angel by his side was intently watching him with wondering silver eyes. It never failed to fascinate Allen how a mere human being can be that beautiful.

"But then, Father hasn't made anything unsightly, really." He said to himself, sitting comfortably just an inch away from Kanda. The angel looked at the sleeping face, a soft smile on his lips.

He saw a line in between the long haired man's brows. His face reflected that of discomfort. "Must be having some unpleasant dreams, ne?" Allen asked the oblivious sleeping man. The silver eyed angel's smile widened and he wrapped his arms around Kanda's form, wings bursting from his back to stretch into its full length. Gently, very gently, he wrapped his pure white wing to both their bodies, ends resting soundlessly to the soft grass.

"You know, even if the breeze is warm tonight doesn't mean you won't catch a cold or something… You have to be careful or else you'll miss the National Kendo Competition by next week." The angel chided the sleeping Kanda Yuu, resting his head on the man's broad chest. He felt and heard Kanda's heartbeat making Allen close his eyes and tighten his embrace just a little bit. Not that Kanda would feel any weight whatsoever.

Kanda's body relaxed even more much to Allen's contentment but the soft nuzzling on his white hair and the arms that snaked to his slim waist, pulling him closer was what truly made his heart speed up in rhythm and a blush—if angels could really blush—to crawl up on his pale cheeks. He looked up only to see that Kanda was still asleep, the line between his brows earlier was gone and a satisfied smile was on his lips. Allen gulped. His breath hitching as he tried to untangle himself from the man only to be pulled tighter, closer. Was that even possible? But at that moment, it was and Allen honestly did not know what to do.

"What was that?" Allen asked, halting his squirming to look questioningly at the still sleeping man, which was hard to do with the current proximity. He swore he heard Kanda mumble something.

"…just a bit longer…Don't go…Don't leave me…" Kanda whispered low, so low but the white haired divine seraph heard it nonetheless, perfectly clear.

Allen's eyes widened so much he thought his eyeballs would fall off their sockets. Kanda's grip tightened again, nuzzling the close-to-hyperventilating angel's soft white hair further. After a moment, Allen relaxed, his hands that were on the other man's chest in an attempt to push himself off earlier slumped back to Kanda's waist, hugging him back, his feathered wings enveloping the two of them once again. Allen sighed as he cuddled the sleeping man. After so long wearing the broken smile that God himself thought would never fade away, Allen now wore the happiest, most sweetest smile any angel could ever have.

"Of course…" he whispered back. "As long as you want me, I'll always be here for you." and then, he leaned up and kissed the man's forehead tenderly, a hand coming to rest at Kanda's shoulder.

"Yuu…" he breathed as he leant down to place a kiss on Kanda's chin. "Yuu…" he whispered almost, _almost _desperately as he angled his plum lips to kiss Kanda's left cheek. "Yuu…" ghosting his sweet, icy breath across the man's face to kiss his right cheek, "I love you so much…" Allen whispered ardently before brushing his lower lip on the tip of the sleeping man's nose, going down to finally touch his lips to the other's, lightly, very lightly brushing his tongue to Kanda's bottom lip. The kiss felt so sweet and searing for Allen made sure to pour all of his love and conviction and his very being to that one. He pulled off just enough for their wet lips to be still brushing with each other. He breathed another "Yuu…" before finally resting his head to the crook of the man's neck. He was slightly panting and a lovely shade of red painted his porcelain face. Braving to look up at his dearest Yuu's face, he couldn't help the amused smile his lips gave way. Apparently, Kanda was in no better shape than him, he sighed and fully leaned onto the warm body beneath him, remembering the dream he just saw inside the stoic boy's head while kissing him, he couldn't help the giggle which escaped his lips.

_Under the shade of a big sakura tree, embracing a white haired angel with his wings around them, warming him up. The long haired young man leaned in further, whispering oh so longingly, "Stay…"_

_A kiss, "Please…" another kiss, "please…" and another, "Don't go…" and another._

"_Stay with me…" and that kiss, the last which was directed to his own dry lips just took his breath away. A soft, warm tongue sliding to his bottom lip ever so lightly sending genial shivers down his spine. He gripped the angel's waist tighter, never in his life, not even when he was with Lavi did he felt so much contentment, at bliss and undeniably happy at the same time. Ever. When the creature pulled off, he felt himself catching his breath and a little bit shaky._

_His eyes were half lidded and the odd mix of satisfaction—true satisfaction and wanting more was hugging his insides, butterflies fluttering in his stomach._

_And then remembering that with every chaste kiss the beautiful creature gave him was followed by short, breathed words… His name so yearningly said… The other words that followed which made his heart ache in both pain and warmth._

'_Ah..." The dawn of realization finally hit him. He now understood. That nasty hallow ache he was experiencing every now and then, especially when he does something that—being truthful to himself—he doesn't really want nor mean to do, unsure of himself, was because of this, right in his arms, in his very embrace._

_The dreams he had been having since childhood and as he was growing up. The joyful smiles, reassurances and perfect, heavenly company he always had that turned into sad, longing presence and broken smiles ever since he had committed the biggest, most unforgivable sin in his goddamn life. He finally knew, his heart felt like it was pierced by billions of needles and he truthfully wanted to cry… for inflicting so much pain and suffering to the person he know, he always have known deep within his heart that he love the most._

_But despite all that he did, this angel, his guardian angel never abandoned him. He bared everything just for the sake of saving his poor despicable soul and most of all, had loved him with all his existence. Kanda felt it from the moment the angel smiled at him and seated beside him, wrapping his slim arms to warm him up and spreading his pure white wings to keep the dangers away. When he mumbled somethinglike 'getting cold' and things like that with so much care… He felt it all._

_Slowly, he lifted an arm, palms never leaving the expanse of the creature's petite form until it rested to the other's cheek… so soft and smooth and warm… they looked at each other's eyes, silver merging perfectly with ebony blue as he breathed out the words that made the angel's already shattered heart repair itself in an instant, as if it never really broke into miniscule shards._

"_I love you too… wait for me, please?"_

_The boy nodded and Kanda smiled… finally smiled from the bottom of his heart and in that one smile he showed all the remorse, yearning and love he so wanted to give the silver eyed cherub right then and there._

_His angel hugged him tighter and he was forgiven and the hallow ache was gone, for good._

Kanda was now sure, absolutely sure, as he dreamed and sleep together with the most beautiful and amazing creature in the world, that he's _soul _was born to love his Guardian Angel and him alone and had now fully accepted that fate with all his heart.

When he woke up, it was still dark but signs of the sun's rays were slowly peaking up the horizon. He felt very light and when he looked around, he was alone. His shoulders slumped a little bit down and a look of disappointment on his oriental face. He stayed like that before finally getting up and brushing his sweatpants off of dirt but what he felt with his hands made his eyes widened and he immediately looked down.

His eyes soften and a soft, warm smile formed on his face. He gently pulled the single white feather and brought it up to his lips. Kissing it chastely before whispering,

"Thank you… I love you."

Tucking the feather safely in his pocket, he made his way to his house to do what he must've done long ago.

Standing by the tree blossoming pink petals was a certain white haired angel, eyes fixed on the retreating back of his beloved charge, a smile of pure content and joy on his beautiful face.

"Thank you, Yuu… I love you too… so much." A single tear rolled down his cheeks. "I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes… I will." With a wave of his wings, he vanished into thin air along with the single feather on the long haired man's pocket as well as Kanda's memories of last night…

**-o-**

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><p><strong>AN: **What the f*** was that...

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh! I hate myself for writing this! I so seriously wanna' bang my head on a hard surface right now. I don't like angst but I never said I never read nor had any idea, yes? *breathes heavily* yeah yeah... I know, it sucks so I'm allowing you to BURN ME WITH YOUR FLAMES! as much as you want that is... only for this fic... *sulks*

Oh well... *perks up* this most probably WON'T remain a one shot. ^^ *wink wink* because I truly am not contented in short lived happy endings, I _might _continue this sometime in the future if I receive some good constructive reviews and encouragement from you lovely readers so... wanna' see what happens next? *evil grin*

Rest assured that whatever happens, YULLEN WILL PREVAIL! *laughs maniacally* *cough* *cough* err... so yep. Please review!


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